All Children Should Be Wanted, Abortion is the Answer, Isn't It? A Child is a Choice....
Posted: Saturday, September 12, 2009
by Marijo Phelps
"I think we should have only WANTED children, why should an unwanted child be born and then abused?" my friend Marie whispered in my ear during the lecture.
What can I say because I know the direction this is taking and I don't agree. What would help her to think this through? I knew intermission was coming up and wanted to respond to her.
The idea came to me "how about all of your family and hers?" I was definitely not wanted. My mom made one majorly bad choice. Her husband was off fighting the war and she hadn't seen him in two years. And now she discovered she was pregnant. The Red Cross got her husband, the only wonderful Dad I have ever known, home. Anyone in the family who could count knew something wasn't adding up. She tried to pass me off as "premature" even though I weighed 8 pounds at birth. I wasn't wanted, not at first. Was I then loved and cherished? You bet I was.
What can I say because I know the direction this is taking and I don't agree. What would help her to think this through? I knew intermission was coming up and wanted to respond to her.
Next I thought about Marie. Her Dad was an undiagnosed and untreated manic-depressive, schizophrenic, alcoholic. Her parents already had 2 children in diapers when her mom found out she was pregnant, again, with TWINS. Oh, did I mention they lived on a farm with no indoor plumbing? We can only imagine the tears when her folks heard the news of twins and ended up with four babies, under two years of age, in diapers at once. I couldn't imagine my life without Marie, my very closest friend.
Then there was Marie's son. She was newly married, just barely starting out in her chosen profession. They didn't have money for a baby nor was that in their plans for that timeframe. Some suggested she just have an abortion. I remember well what she said, "I CAN'T have an abortion I don't believe in them personally but I do think every woman should have a choice." That was the end of discussion and we began buying baby clothes. Her son is a delight. I thought back to the day he was in "time out". It was terribly quiet. When we went into his room he had cut the end out of a shoebox and placed pictures he had drawn over the hole in the box shined a flashlight through the picture and "projected" it onto his bedroom wall! He did this when he was seven years old. Several more "time outs" and he'd probably be a patented inventor.
Further, I thought about her husband, who was like a brother to me. About age nine, he was going down the hall to the bathroom when he heard heated words from the nearby living room, "If I never would have F----- you, we never would have had him!" I am sure those words broke his nine-year-old heart, but he is loved now by SO many. Just because his parents were going through tough times and making some bad choices, did that mean he should have died before he began life outside the womb?
Oh, then there is my wonderful husband. He is one of eleven children, coming in at number nine. I am pretty sure that he wasn't "planned". I can almost hear his mother's heart drop when she realized that "number nine" was on the way. His parents rented a dairy farm and at times there were only black birds in the pot for dinner. His father must have had heart failure when he realized they were expecting again.
Marie and I had talked before about unwanted children leading to child abuse. But what worse abuse could there be than death?
I mentioned all five of us being "unwanted" to her on the break and detailed my thoughts. I asked what all of us would have done, if any one of us had been aborted. She looked at me with really sad eyes, but didn't have time to comment, before the speaker began again.
"This is encouragement for those of you who think you might have been unplanned or unwanted. please listen carefully: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." That is from Jeremiah 1:5. The Bible was speaking about Jeremiah here but this indicated that he was "thought about and planned for" BEFORE he was ever conceived.
You are not an accident. The choices your parents made when you were conceived might not have been the best. You might have been a surprise to them, but you were no surprise to God. He thought you up, all those special parts of your personality that make you what and who you are. You were not a surprise to God but a delight. God has a plan for you, specially thought out and put together, just as you are thought out and planned by the creator of the universe. Think about that for a minute.
I glanced at Marie and she has a small smile on her face. The speaker wasn't speaking directly to us, was he? How could he have known what we talked about through the break?
"Also, there is forgiveness. Abortion is not the unpardonable sin. Let me give you some freedom here," he continued.
There were murmurs coming from all parts of the lecture hall. You could tell this was affecting many who were there, both men and women.
"I know from counseling that there are many regrets after having an abortion. Much heaviness that those who abort had no idea they would have. Those who were told "it is not a child, it is just a blob of tissue" have told me of depression, haunting thoughts about that tiny being, about what happened and their choice. They didn't even believe it was a child, so why all these thoughts?"
There was more audience shuffling of feet, more coughing and clearing throats. And the speaker went on, "Would you like to be set free from that heaviness? Would you like to have the nightmares stop? Would you like to be, in a word, forgiven?"
Marie and I glanced around us. Who knew which ones in the audience had aborted a baby?
A few years back I made a jacket using textile paints, I drew a huge female sign on the back. Within the circle of that female sign I had painted "equal rights for UNBORN women". It had sparked many a conversation. Just l;ike the jacket, I was sure the speaker was sparking "conversations" within hearts even now an he spoke. What was he going to say next?
"Think about this with me, if you will, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." This is from 1 John 1:9, yes it is in the Bible, but please don't let that keep you from listening."
There were some chuckles from the audience.
"God is in the business of setting people free. He died a horrible death and would have done it just for you, if you were the only one on earth. He loves you SO much. The forgiveness and the freedom that goes with it, is yours for the asking. It is a most incredible gift. All you need to do is ask."
With that, he turned the microphone over to a gal who had an abortion. She shared her story with the audience, and how the freedom she had in being forgiven, totally changed her life.
I sat still thinking about all we had been given that day. I already knew the part about being knit together in my mother's womb "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb" from Psalms 139:13. The Jeremiah scriptures were totally new to me I was NOT an accident in God's eyes. He planned me, He loved me AND my mother chose to give me life. I had a joy inside that was about to burst out of me!
Marie and I left the lecture that day with so very much to talk about. Choice, it really is all about choice. I am so glad that my mom AND dad chose life for me.
You will never know the total freedom in forgiveness until you ask, for yourself. God's line is never busy. He is never distracted. He is always there for you, waiting for you to call out to Him. Maybe this is your time, your day, your date with the creator of the universe how bad can that be?
(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.
This touching poem is shared with permission of my friend, Teresa Ortiz:
If Only for a Moment (a poem of healing)
They didn't tell me you had a beating heart;
they told me you were a mass of tissue.
They didn't tell me I would cry for you 24-years later,
they told me it was nothing-you were nothing.
The room was cold-so-so cold.
Just relax, they said, there's nothing to it.
Staring in silence-screaming inside with no place to hide, nowhere to run.
Relax I say, soon you will be out having fun.
Life went on-for me that is.
Would it matter if I told you your father and I married?
Is that any consolation?
How many pregnancies, how many live births?
The question stings, I wonder if acid would soothe the burn.
Then one day I heard your sister's heartbeat for the very first time;
You were just her age when yours beat for the very last time.
What have I done? In an instant, you were real.
Would it make a difference if I told you I mourn for you still?
My Lord is gracious, forgiving and kind
He took you in His arms when I chose not to hold you in mine.
One hope I hold dear to my heart; that my Lord Jesus would
grant me one wish-one delight.
To hold you in my arms if only for a moment
and feel the love of both of you.
~~~~
They didn't tell me you had a beating heart;
they told me you were a mass of tissue.
They didn't tell me I would cry for you 24-years later,
they told me it was nothing-you were nothing.
The room was cold-so-so cold.
Just relax, they said, there's nothing to it.
Staring in silence-screaming inside with no place to hide, nowhere to run.
Relax I say, soon you will be out having fun.
Life went on-for me that is.
Would it matter if I told you your father and I married?
Is that any consolation?
How many pregnancies, how many live births?
The question stings, I wonder if acid would soothe the burn.
Then one day I heard your sister's heartbeat for the very first time;
You were just her age when yours beat for the very last time.
What have I done? In an instant, you were real.
Would it make a difference if I told you I mourn for you still?
My Lord is gracious, forgiving and kind
He took you in His arms when I chose not to hold you in mine.
One hope I hold dear to my heart; that my Lord Jesus would
grant me one wish-one delight.
To hold you in my arms if only for a moment
and feel the love of both of you.
~~~~
Marijo Phelps,saved by Jesus grace in 1974, from 9 years atheism into His loving arms. She is wanting to spread the good news about His redemptive plan for our lives through written media. Her name is pronounced Mary Jo. She was an RN for 23+ years, missionary with YWAM,statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ 9 years. Her first poem published when she was four years old. (her mom had much to do with that!) She has been writing ever since.
Her new blog can be found: http://myincrediblelord.blogspot.com
Her new blog can be found: http://myincrediblelord.blogspot.com
This Article has been viewed 558 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Hi Marijo, a tough subject indeed. I pray this turns many hearts - just one makes it worth it. Blessings to you! Keep that light shining brightly! TTHANKS again for your poem and comments! I just wish more people would stumble across this piece! Marijo
As a teacher of High School kids for thirty-five years, I know how kids don't think or plan.I have always been in favor of a teen mom's choice to abort an unborn baby, especially in the case an accidental unwanted teen pregnancy.This unwanted embryo, I believed, severely threatened both itself, the child, and the teen mom's future as no resources, no livelihood, no survival skills and no emotional support existed to create an environment needed to rear such a child.Until I read this;"You are not an accident. The choices your parents made when you were conceived might not have been the best. You might have been a surprise to them, but you were no surprise to God. He thought you up, all those special parts of your personality that make you what and who you are. You were not a surprise to God but a delight. God has a plan for you, specially thought out and put together, just as you are thought out and planned by the creator of the universe. "Now, I am not so sure.Thank you for making me aware of the profound spiritual argument and for making me think.Affection; Paul SchroederYOu are most welcome, Paul - I used to be pro-choice.... then after thinking and study and JESUS turned the corner to "equal rights for the unborn WOMAN (child, of course) but my jacket said WOMAN.... MarijoHi Paul, what a gracious and honest response. I am glad this helped you to rethink the issue. It is amazing to me that the majority of pro-choice are men and women who have never had an abortion. It is a feeling undesribable - you really do feel the life being sucked out of you. Many women who do not seek counseling or forgiveness have severe emotional problems. Others who tuck it so far back in their subconscience or convince themselves that it was nothing, experience bitterness and disfunction in other areas of their life. Abortion takes a life period, religion has nothing to do with it. Thanks again for your sensitivity. Blessings, TeresaBlessings to you as well; you always stun me with how elevated a soul you really are.Paul, Teresa is a sinner COVERED by His grace and mercy and forgiveness just like I am, eh?If you combined BOTH Teresa's and Marijo's lifetime sins and multiplied them by each other, you'd never even scratch the surface of the terrible meanness and evil deeds that I have committed in my clearly sinister life before finding God, again.Believe me, I am NOT bragging when I say that I am deeply ashamed of my Godless crimes of the heart against others in my thoughts and deeds.I often think, when I am often tortured by DARK ONES, that I must somehow deserve all the crippling physical ailments, horrid nightmares, psychic harassment and poltergeist B. S. which mainfests around me as I have been a tool in their hands for so long that they will not easily relinquish me.You ladies have NOTHING to worry about.It's MY fate, after death, that worries me greatly.Both of you have reserved front row seats, in Heaven.Paul....the only thing which is reserving me a place in heaven is because Jesus died on that cross for me....HE is totally God and totally man and sinned not - so he could go to the cross and pay that price for you and me.... all we have to do is ask Him to forgive us and accept that great sacrifice...I did that in October 12, 1974 and that is the only reason I will be in heaven...I was an alcoholic and etc. I know about hurting loved ones and breaking God's heart, believe me....Marijo
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