To a Dating Couple - Outrageous Ideas on Sex Before Marriage Series
Posted: Sunday, February 21, 2010
by Marijo Phelps
I had prayed for over two years for “whoever he was, wherever he was". I met him earlier than I realized he was the one that the Lord Jesus was speaking about to my heart. Yes, he was a bearded red head and I was actually avoiding him. Been there, done that and was not about to get close to ANOTHER bearded redhead. Well, seems like the Lord has a really good sense of humor.
The Holy Spirit nudged my heart – quietly posing a couple of questions: “are you going to ignore him all week or talk to the guy? He is not your ex-husband…." And “Mick needs a godly, non-romantic relationship with a woman, will you be that woman?"
Both questions made me feel like a little kid. Here comes Daddy with the Castor Oil… you suspected it was “good for you" but knew how awful it tasted. Eventually you stood still and opened up because you knew your dad really did have your best interest in mind.
From the title of this piece you might have already guessed that we did talk that week in the mail room. We went to a mutual friend’s birthday party and he walked me back to the girl’s dorm afterwards. I cooked pizza for his roommates in the guy’s staff house after he and I got the groceries together.
After doing things in groups of friends he had asked me out to Chinese food and a movie. We were going out regularly, still doing things with him roommates and mine too. The Lord was still saying “godly and non-romantic. With His help we were doing that. And our friendship was growing.
Both of us had made a mess of things before this time and before Jesus. Neither of us was born teething on a Bible and we both had come the hard way around, both were divorced, had lived with a mate without the benefit of marriage and on. We were in our 30s at the time we met. All of this to say that our Lord Jesus Christ can even restore one’s innocence and help in “doing it right"! We were in the process of discovering this. It was as fresh as a breath of Texas springtime air.
Daughter, I’ve called you both by My name and you’re mine. I AM a jealous God – guard your hearts and you shall be blessed in My victory. I have sent you the Comforter and strength and power in my Spirit – use it. Resist the enemy and he shall flee. Press in to me fervently.
If need be, structure your times together. Avoid areas of temptation, touch not the Lord’s anointed, but build each other up in the holy faith. Speak to each other in psalms, songs and praises. You both are my beloved and I Am yours.
Do not get ahead of my timing but meet these challenges head on. I love you two dearly and want your highest good – have that prayerful regard for each other moment by moment. Choose to walk now – do not run into what you have not seen or do not know.
I AM with you. Are you with Me? I delight in you two and want you to be exquisitely blessed by the friendship I’ve given you – keep it now where it belongs for the maximum for you both. Pray much. Submit each other to Me and your emotions/wills/hopes/fears/futures and do it today. I want your highest but you must both yield to Me and stay yielded. You’re missing out on a lot because you’re leaning too far. Check yourselves for My sake and as a token of your care/concern for each other. I will supply strength as you step out and act as you know you need to. Receive the precious gift of friendship I have given you – don’t gobble. Guard your heart.
Song of Solomon 8:4
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right. (NLT)
We were taught that the right time was after you had made the commitment of marriage to each other. And I do not regret being taught this at all. God graciously gave us a new beginning. But I am getting ahead of my story. At this point we had not shared so much as a kiss. I was finding that flowing the Lord’s leading in a friendship was totally delightful.
The best thing was that at this early stage, before our emotions were too involved…. Did you know emotions make really effective “ear plugs" when you are praying and trying to hear the Lord? SO pray much, pray early, pray before and LISTEN.
What better “match maker" could there be than your savior who “knew you BEFORE your mother’s womb". We were just beginning to find out.
(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.
Marijo Phelps,saved by Jesus grace in 1974, from 9 years atheism into His loving arms. She is wanting to spread the good news about His redemptive plan for our lives through written media. Her name is pronounced Mary Jo. She was an RN for 23+ years, missionary with YWAM,statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ 9 years. Her first poem published when she was four years old. (her mom had much to do with that!) She has been writing ever since.
Her new blog can be found: http://myincrediblelord.blogspot.com
Her new blog can be found: http://myincrediblelord.blogspot.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)This is wonderful Marijo- You are getting to the place in your writing where you can use it to pull emotions from the reader, and instill wisdom and understanding in them. I'll bet you asked God for this- see how our prayers can be answered? But I know that you know this from much experience. I'm waiting in anticipation for the next installment- hope I don't have long to wait!--- Always-EllaThank you = I have a couple in this series half written - The Lord is so good to us - we are headed for our 25th anniversary and it seems like it was only yesterday....
Marijo,I enjoyed reading your article. Great advice,especially good to have a spiritual perspective,when it comes to something as important and life changing as relationships. Thank you.Thanks Kim and welcome to Searchwarp!
I enjoy stories of how people met, and I really enjoyed this one! Thanks for sharing it with us and congratulations on your upcoming 25th. We're celebrating our 25th this year as well. Time flies! (some days) :)There are many more coming in this series...copperhead snakes, tarantulas (well, we were in Texas) what the Bible teaches on relationships, it IS possible to WAIT - even if both people were not born "teething on Bibles", why wait? REALLY, WHY? Etc. Thanks for coming by Brianna!
You seem to have (in my arrogant opinion), substantially improved your writing style. Keep 'em coming. Your friend, JackAnd still only 4 stars....GRIN. Thanks Jack, as my current English teacher I take that as a high compliment. Some of the pieces I post are older - right now I am out of older stuff and having to write (sigh). I will always write well when thinking about what the Lord did to get Mick and me together.... so some of this series is from journals from that era but the bulk of the writing will be current and new - soon I will be using some notes from lecturers I heard back them (with permission) getting into Biblical reasons, guidelines and what happens if one chooses not to follow - in a good way - I always think the WHY of something makes it mean more and stick better, don't you?I am also on another website and planning to take some of their free writing courses - need them I know!Blessings on Monday! Marijoit should show higher- I gave at least 2 and I thought 3 -5's to make it about 4.5, I thought. I think I gave 5's for inspiration, and formatting, and I thought one other. The only reason I commented was to show I was rating higher, and still had to get scoldedAh, well, I DO appreciate your encouragement. How can the pupil scold the teacher? GRIN
Mick and Marijo aredear friends of mine and my husbands going on 20+ years now. I have to say, she and Mick have a true friendship, one I admire. Her writings shine a light on the 'value' of knowing and serving a loving God, who, no matter what He requires, always has our best interest at heart.Cindy! Thanks for coming by and your encouraging comments - it is all because of Him (Jesus!) Hope you find time to write some more too - love seeing your work on these websites! Marijo
I too think this is one of your best article's Marijo and I am looking forward to reading more. I know this one comes straight from your heart.Thanks Linda - so sorry to hear about Michelle! Praying!! Marijo
Interesting topic you have and very insightful. Keep writing!Thanks,TerenceThanks for coming and reading.
Indeed our God lives, He makes all things beautiful in His time. What a great testimony, God richly bless and continually guide you.Thank you very much Sarah for reading and your encouraging comments - there are many more in this series and I hope you get a chance to read some! Marijo
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